I'm Back 2.0

by - 11:26 am

The title sounds funny isn't it? Well, my last post, I'm Back was like 3 months ago and I never update anymore. It's not like I don't have things to share or what. It was just I'm not in the mood. So not in the mood that I wasted my 3 months doing nothing beneficial.

Except that I'm now employed.

Not to tell where I'm working now. It's plain and boring and I don't want to waste your time reading my pointless rant.

I just wanna talk about my result. Yes, my SPM result. I bet everyone knew that SPM result was out on 15th of March that day. God knows how much I was trembling that I have encountered diarrhoea and high fever two days before. Yes, I was always that kind of person when I was too afraid.

So, to make it short, my result was not that bad but was not too good la. How do I say it? So-so? Nice enough to enter a university but not enough to apply for scholarship or what. Regret? A bit. But I am actually ready for all this.

After all, I goof around a lot before SPM. That was what I deserved for my half-hearted attempt of studying.

And yes, I managed to make my mama cried. I was not sure why she was crying. Whether she was hoping for more or it was above her expectation, it was all her own secret. She would never tell anyone. Only if I know she will cry like that, then I will try my very hardest to achieve better result. But past is past. I am going to continue what I am doing now.

About what course I am going to enter soon, I do not really mind. I really wish I will get a TESL offer but any other courses would be fine as long as it is not a science-stream related. I am so done with science. I also applied for culinary art course. Who knows I could be a good chef or restaurant owner soon, aight?

Maybe you would say, 'uh, this kid does not have any ambition or what?'. Yes, I do not really have anything specific in my mind. Since I was a kid, I was just went along with the flow and try my best to adapt because I believe whatever I am doing, I will do my very best. That is why I choose not to have any ambition. Hope is a dream that never sleeps but too much of hopes will make me break apart when I fall. So, I always play safe.

Crazy af?

Yes I am. I am playing with my own life.

And like abah said 'ignore those bawangs who will comment, they would never know our struggles to keep in our own track.' and that was what I am doing since the past few years. As long as I am living a happy life, I do not really mind at all.

That is it. Thank you so much for reading. Maybe you would not really understand because I do not too. 

And why am I writing like a real savage person nowadays? Leave it.


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